Theory of importance.
Everyone wants to feel important. Nothing wrong about it. But at the same we want others to give us importance, to treat us to be special and we feel disappointed when this does not happen. Its the unconscious mind and buried ego that demands such a behaviour. Most of us refuse to accept this fact but its an futile attempt.
The theory of importance states that, every individual seeks for importance from selected few sources(individuals/friends/family), and feel hurt if these sources fail to do so. This concept of "importance" shows itself in two stages which are linked in complicated manner. One cannot exist without another:
1. The source approaching an individual and making a proposal giving him importance. eg. Ram asks Shyam would you like to come for movie.
2. Refusal of proposal to feel important. eg. Shyam refuses to come for movie.
Lets analyze above example: Shyam may not be really interested in watching movie. But what if Ram who is Shyam's good friend goes for movie without telling him. When Shyam learns this fact he feels disappointed. Why? The reason being Ram did not give him importance which he expected and had taken for granted from him. The fact whether he is really keen on watching movie becomes secondary and immaterial. Worse still Shyam would certainly argue that he would have come for the movie if asked.
What if we bend time-space continuum and travel back in time. And see what happens when Ram asked Shyam for a movie. Expectations are so vicious thing, we take them for granted. Ram gave importance to Shyam but for Shyam never thought he needs to appreciate this gesture. On contrary what happens next is very interesting, Shyam refuses the proposal, the reason is obvious he is not interested in movie. But there is another dark side to the decision. Acceptance of proposal is like surrender to others will and losing our importance. So you refuse and our subconscious mind feels contended.
It would be difficult for all of us to accept the part of the theory which says, "Importance of refusal." I guess it is too harsh. But when I try to justify Shyam's statement, "I would have come for movie, if Ram had called.". I cannot think of alternative explanation then what I have given.
Its important to try to understand the theory by putting ourselves in the first person and ask why do I feel disappointed if my friend/family do not ask for my opinion or consider my choice. Irrespective of the fact what answer I would have given the thought that troubles us the most is not the original question under consideration but our lack of trust in the other person and feeling of betrayal only because other person did not give me importance or in other words hurt my subconscious ego(Which none of us think we have).
The theory of importance states that, every individual seeks for importance from selected few sources(individuals/friends/family), and feel hurt if these sources fail to do so. This concept of "importance" shows itself in two stages which are linked in complicated manner. One cannot exist without another:
1. The source approaching an individual and making a proposal giving him importance. eg. Ram asks Shyam would you like to come for movie.
2. Refusal of proposal to feel important. eg. Shyam refuses to come for movie.
Lets analyze above example: Shyam may not be really interested in watching movie. But what if Ram who is Shyam's good friend goes for movie without telling him. When Shyam learns this fact he feels disappointed. Why? The reason being Ram did not give him importance which he expected and had taken for granted from him. The fact whether he is really keen on watching movie becomes secondary and immaterial. Worse still Shyam would certainly argue that he would have come for the movie if asked.
What if we bend time-space continuum and travel back in time. And see what happens when Ram asked Shyam for a movie. Expectations are so vicious thing, we take them for granted. Ram gave importance to Shyam but for Shyam never thought he needs to appreciate this gesture. On contrary what happens next is very interesting, Shyam refuses the proposal, the reason is obvious he is not interested in movie. But there is another dark side to the decision. Acceptance of proposal is like surrender to others will and losing our importance. So you refuse and our subconscious mind feels contended.
It would be difficult for all of us to accept the part of the theory which says, "Importance of refusal." I guess it is too harsh. But when I try to justify Shyam's statement, "I would have come for movie, if Ram had called.". I cannot think of alternative explanation then what I have given.
Its important to try to understand the theory by putting ourselves in the first person and ask why do I feel disappointed if my friend/family do not ask for my opinion or consider my choice. Irrespective of the fact what answer I would have given the thought that troubles us the most is not the original question under consideration but our lack of trust in the other person and feeling of betrayal only because other person did not give me importance or in other words hurt my subconscious ego(Which none of us think we have).
posted by Aniket at 11:18 PM
1 Comments:
I liked all of your posts very much!
Very much clear thoughts and mostly feel that the same things I do experince, feel but somehow did not ( or could not? ) express till today.
Please keep on writing nore and more and that too frequently!
Cheers.
--Shamish
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